It’s not uncommon after having children to totally forget about the pre-mommy you. We spend our days tending to the needs of our little ones and forget what life was like before they came along. Once we take a minute to reflect we often realize that we had goals, dreams and aspirations that suddenly are at a standstill. At that moment we stand at a crossroads. We can 1. Choose to ignore this moment, have a pitting party, then go back to cleaning the house or 2. We can take a second to grab a piece of paper and write down our goals, dreams and aspirations. This decision takes two minutes and can change the rest of your life.
Our current goals will most likely be different than our pre-mommy goals but that is ok. Those people who are successful have made the choice to be successful. Let me be clear about my definition of success. Success is living the life that you accomplished not the life that was given to you or chosen for you. My definition of success also does not include any money. Yes, we need money to survive but having excessive amounts of money will come and go but living each day to your fullest potential allows you to lay your head on your pillow each night and feel that you accomplished everything that was possible that day.
The biggest step in achieving our goals as moms is taking the time to actually figure what our goals are. I have been approached several times by clients and strangers alike asking, “With two kids how did you find time to start a business?” To be honest I think I ask myself this every night. Here are a few tips that helped me accomplish my dreams, goals and aspirations:
1. Write Down Your Goals: Go to the store and find a journal, a book or even a pen and paper will do. On one page write at the top Life Goals. Think about where you want to be in 5-10 years. Include anything and everything you can think of. It is ok to have goals that you think in the moment are unrealistic. These goals can be personal, professional, spiritual etc. Remember, if your goals don’t scare you they aren’t big enough. Keep this list handy. On any day a goal might change or a new goal might appear. To keep pushing ourselves forward don’t hesitate to stop, look at your list of goals and evaluate where you are in achieving your goals. We always want to see progress, even if it is small progress!
2. Write Down Your Accomplishments: When we think of goals it can be overwhelming. In that moment many goals can seem unattainable. By breaking down our big goals into smaller achievable parts it makes goals less intimidating and more doable. On the second page of your book title it Accomplishments . On this page you will record mini milestones or accomplishments that you have achieved on your path to achieving your goals. For example, after having my daughter 10 months ago my goal was to loose the baby weight. I knew this goal would take several months perhaps even a year. In this long length of time it was very easy for me to get discouraged and depressed because it never happens fast enough. To help keep me on track physically and mentally I would write down little accomplishments such as creating a daily schedule that included workouts, cooked healthy meals for 5 nights in a row. My mini accomplishments allowed me to see that even though I had not yet accomplished my goal I was on the right track. It inspired me and motivated to keep going. It allowed me to see improvement from where I started to the present day. I was able to see that I was growing and improving. Even though the accomplishments page might not have your main goal completed yet it shows you are on your way to success. Goals are not achieved overnight. It takes days, weeks, month and sometimes years. We have to continually inspire ourselves and encourage ourselves that we can achieve our goals.
3. Accept Failure: Failure is part of achieving success. Any person that has achieved success will admit that they failed at not just one thing but many things. They learned from their mistakes and continued on their path. My favorite example of failure is when a client comes in and tells me that they have eaten horrible all week. Now they feel terrible physically, because they ate junk food all week, but perhaps the worst part is the emotional feeling of failure. Typically, without realizing it, we have a cheat meal then we feel so terrible emotionally that we give up on the plan and eat bad for the entire week. I always tell clients that you are going to fail and have a cheat meal. Have a cheat meal not a cheat week. Learn to accept that falling for temptations is going to happen but learning how to handle the regret is the real lesson. If you fail look at the situation, learn from it then let it go. The more we stress and regret the more emotionally we are failing. Let it go and get back on the track to success!
4. Live Outside Your Comfort Zone: We live our day to day lives in a routine. We get up, brush our teeth, get dressed, eat, go to work, etc, all to get up the next day and do it again. This creature of habit mentality makes it very uncomfortable for us to get out of our comfort zone. Trying a new workout facility and exercise class is scary and intimidating. It does not fit into the day to day routine. To reach success we have to step out of our comfort zones. Opening a new business was a huge step outside my comfort zone. I liked schedules, routines, structure and the security of a full time job. In order to pursue my dreams of opening a studio I left the comfort of my full time salaried job with a team I adored, got a business license to work out of my home and began spreading the word for potential clients. At this point I was living way outside my comfort zone and terribly scared. I kept pushing forward looking daily at my goals list and noting my mini accomplishments all to help me stay focused and inspired on the end goal. Almost 2 years later we opened our doors at SLIM Fitness Studio. It was by far the hardest and biggest step outside of my comfort zone but the rewards are priceless. I spend the majority of my day with my beautiful girls and we are surrounded with the best clients a girl could ask for. Success requires that we step outside our comfort zone and do something new and different. Don’t be limited by fear of the unknown. Take the first step!
These four steps helped me live each day to the fullest and although my business is small and growing I wake each morning feeling accomplished and driven to pursue my next goal. As moms we can live out our dreams it just takes planning and HELP! We are all stronger than we give ourselves credited for. Sometimes we need to push our boundaries and see just how great we can be. Be inspired and start living your dreams!